29.3.13
26.3.13
Broken beyond measure.
Every time I see you, with you, around you, I find myself in an inescapable pit of sorrow. I can't help but feel that you regret crossing paths with me.
24.3.13
22.3.13
I watched you disappear.
All that's left is the ghost of you.
Now we're torn torn torn apart
there's nothing we can do.
Just let me go we'll meet again soon.
Now we're torn torn torn apart
there's nothing we can do.
Just let me go we'll meet again soon.
20.3.13
Not ready to give you up.
This is fucking driving me insane.
I keep going back on my words.
I can't do it.
I can't do this.
I won't do this.
I keep going back on my words.
I can't do it.
I can't do this.
I won't do this.
Let's make this fading moment last forever.
I meant every word.
I'm never (ever) going to leave you, I'll always be there to help you, that I'll always love you. (Even if I'm not meant to, even if I'm not allowed.) I ever so do want to be the one to help you up when you fall, protect you from the violent storms, help you carry your worries when you get tired of walking.
This can't be it.
I won't believe it.
I don't want it to end.
This isn't how I want it to end..
I'm never (ever) going to leave you, I'll always be there to help you, that I'll always love you. (Even if I'm not meant to, even if I'm not allowed.) I ever so do want to be the one to help you up when you fall, protect you from the violent storms, help you carry your worries when you get tired of walking.
This can't be it.
I won't believe it.
I don't want it to end.
This isn't how I want it to end..
How do I find the words to make you stay?
For what it's worth, we could have been something amazing. But as cliche as this may all sound, there comes a point in time where you've just got to let go.
You have been NOTHING short of amazing, and I am so fucking thankful for that, and you. But you're not mine, and you were never mine to begin with. You deserve better and so much more.
My heart is fighting to keep you in my life, my mind does and says otherwise. In all honesty, I really don't want to let you go, but I am so bad for you.
So just for now, as we embark on our separate journeys, I hope that one day soon we will cross paths again. Maybe we'll exchange the details of our lives without the awkward smiles and stares, maybe we will remember what it's like to be friends again and maybe, if the stars are lined up the way the wanted them to always be, maybe it'll be us exchanging the details of our lives together, to those who knew us as two bodies.
(I really don't think I can do this. I just want you in my life.)
You have been NOTHING short of amazing, and I am so fucking thankful for that, and you. But you're not mine, and you were never mine to begin with. You deserve better and so much more.
My heart is fighting to keep you in my life, my mind does and says otherwise. In all honesty, I really don't want to let you go, but I am so bad for you.
So just for now, as we embark on our separate journeys, I hope that one day soon we will cross paths again. Maybe we'll exchange the details of our lives without the awkward smiles and stares, maybe we will remember what it's like to be friends again and maybe, if the stars are lined up the way the wanted them to always be, maybe it'll be us exchanging the details of our lives together, to those who knew us as two bodies.
(I really don't think I can do this. I just want you in my life.)
17.3.13
This what we're waiting for.
We'll get there one day.
Perseverance and determination is what will drive me in order to attain the friendship we want, the relationship we need. You're worth all my efforts and time - there isn't a damn thing in this world that could let me forget about you or make me forget about you.
Perseverance and determination is what will drive me in order to attain the friendship we want, the relationship we need. You're worth all my efforts and time - there isn't a damn thing in this world that could let me forget about you or make me forget about you.
16.3.13
Why are you my clarity?
I can't understand why. I'm finding it hard to come to terms with what has happened over these last few hours; It has been one hell of an emotional roller coaster. I don't want to accept everything the way it is (because I don't think I can). I've spent the last umpteen hours reminiscing over what's left of us, and only when I managed to fall asleep for the slightest bit, was when it didn't hurt.
You were my first thought this morning, you were my last thought last night. I'm running in circles trying to chase my last moments with you and with every step I take, all the memories just keep slipping away. With whatever I can grasp, it seeps away between my fingers. My heart feels so empty right now and it reduces me tears thinking that this is all that could have been. That this is where we expire and will no longer be able to go back or even start from scratch.
Tell me, is it too late to turn back?
You were my first thought this morning, you were my last thought last night. I'm running in circles trying to chase my last moments with you and with every step I take, all the memories just keep slipping away. With whatever I can grasp, it seeps away between my fingers. My heart feels so empty right now and it reduces me tears thinking that this is all that could have been. That this is where we expire and will no longer be able to go back or even start from scratch.
Tell me, is it too late to turn back?
Our time is almost over, but I can't let you go.
And so it begins.
I'm already dreading the thought of not being able to see you, unable to envision what the universe has in hold for us. Fearing that each day we spend apart, that each day that slips away will lead me into a tormented state of not being able reach out to you and hold onto you. I'm desperately clinging onto whatever hope is left for us. It is so fucking painful to know that each and every moment that passes by, we are edging back to square one; a place in time where things were less complicated and we both lived separate entities.
Part of my soul is tied to you, as is everything else; my heart, my mind, my happiness. No matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I fight, I will never be able to forget you and I don't even know how I'm going to do this. I need you more than you know, and to even begin to imagine a world where you don't exist is simply impossible. If I could have it any other way, this way would have never crossed my mind. Saying goodbye is hard, but I never thought that it would have been you that I was saying goodbye to, and never would I have thought that it would have been this difficult. You'll always have part of my heart and that's a piece of me I want you to keep. At least then, there'll still be hope for what lies in the future. (Please don't throw it away.)
I love you and I'm not going anywhere; I'm waiting right here for you - wondering, wishing, and hoping that you'll be okay, that we'll be okay.
I don't want to do this. I don't think I can do this.
I'm already dreading the thought of not being able to see you, unable to envision what the universe has in hold for us. Fearing that each day we spend apart, that each day that slips away will lead me into a tormented state of not being able reach out to you and hold onto you. I'm desperately clinging onto whatever hope is left for us. It is so fucking painful to know that each and every moment that passes by, we are edging back to square one; a place in time where things were less complicated and we both lived separate entities.
Part of my soul is tied to you, as is everything else; my heart, my mind, my happiness. No matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I fight, I will never be able to forget you and I don't even know how I'm going to do this. I need you more than you know, and to even begin to imagine a world where you don't exist is simply impossible. If I could have it any other way, this way would have never crossed my mind. Saying goodbye is hard, but I never thought that it would have been you that I was saying goodbye to, and never would I have thought that it would have been this difficult. You'll always have part of my heart and that's a piece of me I want you to keep. At least then, there'll still be hope for what lies in the future. (Please don't throw it away.)
I love you and I'm not going anywhere; I'm waiting right here for you - wondering, wishing, and hoping that you'll be okay, that we'll be okay.
I don't want to do this. I don't think I can do this.
13.3.13
It's something.
After all that has happened, it feels like we don't even know how to be around each other anymore. There's this wall that has been put up between us and it has escalated to the point where being in the same room is like we are worlds apart. It feels as though gradually withdrawing myself away from you is the only approach I can take, and hope that maybe it will give me the shock I need to know once again what it's like to want you, to be with you, to miss you.
ASFGHADFGJAGJFsahflfagliugJHGADFGALIYEGB HHJKFD FILUAHGFLAJDKFHGA ILU.
Lost for words.
ASFGHADFGJAGJFsahflfagliugJHGADFGALIYEGB HHJKFD FILUAHGFLAJDKFHGA ILU.
Lost for words.
Selfish.
To have someone like you in my life is like being given an infinite amount of wishes. Something to feel incredibly blessed about but at the same time, to feel unworthy of it.
You're too good to me, you're too good for me, and I sure as hell do not deserve someone like you.
8.3.13
I will never leave you.
Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever.
You can count on it.
You can count on it.
5.3.13
SWH.
If only you could see yourself they way I see you. You are more than everything I love, you are more than everyone I love. And I'm not even lying when I say it.
To have you by my side, to see you smile, to know you're there, brings me nothing less than the feeling of infinite bliss. When hardships drown out every positive aspect I try to gather, it is you who lends me the helping hand I need to resurface and pull myself up again. When suffocated with dark thoughts, it is you who shines that beacon of light I need to find my way out again.
You are an amazing human being and no matter what I say, there will never be enough words to do you justice.
To have you by my side, to see you smile, to know you're there, brings me nothing less than the feeling of infinite bliss. When hardships drown out every positive aspect I try to gather, it is you who lends me the helping hand I need to resurface and pull myself up again. When suffocated with dark thoughts, it is you who shines that beacon of light I need to find my way out again.
You are an amazing human being and no matter what I say, there will never be enough words to do you justice.
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