Denial.

The moment I’d (half) open my eyes, the first thing I’d do would be to somewhat subconsciously search for my phone, press the home button and check the notifications acquired throughout the night. With each breath, happiness would inch closer, knowing that I’d wake up to a text message from you at some ungodly hour (not for us, haha). That was all it took; one message, a few words, and my day would already look brighter. I knew each hour that passed by, your presence would loom closer and soon before I knew it, I’d be able to see that beautiful smile that would eradicate all that made my day dark and unpleasant.

Each morning that I wake up now, there is nothing I look forward to, no one I would devote my efforts to see or be around, not one single object or aspect that will illuminate everything the way you did.

Words cannot even begin to describe just how much I miss and need you right now. I never thought it’d be you. I’m not ready to say goodbye. I just want you back. Please come back.

100412/220413

I thought that breaking up and letting go was the hardest thing anyone would ever have to endure. But I can assure you, nothing will ever measure up to the loss of you.
Your voice still echoes around the cold, empty walls of this room. Your scent still lurks in the corners, seeping out in the cracks, washing over me. Your presence still embraces me in ways that cannot be explained. But I need you, I need your physical self.
I miss your cold touch that would soon become warm after minutes of embrace, your skin pressed up against mine, the touch of your soft lips, the warmth only your smile could provide, the happiness only you could give me.
I've fallen into this routine of messaging you in the morning as soon as I wake, messaging you right before I bed. Calling you because I miss you, staying up with you when you needed to talk because I love you. Now, every time I get the urge to do so, I stop and think twice. Then I remember that you're not here anymore. You're gone now; you're so far away, you're so far out of reach.
You are single-handedly the most amazing thing that has happened to me and I am finding it so incredibly hard to come to terms with all of this. (I don't think ever will.)
You have my heart, mind and soul. I will never forget all the times we have shared. You are so special to me and I am just so incredibly grateful to have been given the chance to meet someone as amazing as you. For everything, I'd like to thank you from every inch of me. We will meet again someday and I cannot wait to see you again. For now, I'll still be waiting for you, loving you, and I always will be.

Wake up. It's time for you to come back.

There are no words I could possibly employ to encapsulate the true essence of your beauty.

For everything you have done for me, I’d like to thank you from the very bottom of my heart, from every square inch of my soul. You are everything someone looks for in a friend; there are simply no faults about your character. You are, and I cannot stress this enough, the epitome of what it means to be a perfect friend.

I know that we have had a few hardships but getting through them together was the push I needed to be able to see that we were destined for something amazing. I will hold onto this notion and apprize it with every molecule in my body!

There has only ever been one person who was able to write down words and make them dance on a page playfully, leeching into my very soul bringing about nothing except pure happiness - until I met you. Every single word you’ve said and written always encloses me in a bubble where I can be in total and complete happiness. You’ve genuinely made me happy and for that, I cannot thank you enough. I had never thought that I could be that happy but you overcame that threshold and took happiness to a whole new level.

I know that we had plans and now that you’re gone, I’m probably never even going to attempt to do any of those things we set out to do. It pains me an awful lot to know that you are not going to be the one to experience it with. I don’t blame you for what you have done; there are just some things in life that cannot be helped (I just wished that I could have done something). This really has been an unforeseen turn of events. I can’t say that I forgive you for what you’ve done, but I can’t be angry with you either. I don’t think I’ll come to terms with this for a while and will be dead for quite some time. You really have had a huge impact on my life and I’m so glad that I had the opportunity to meet one of the most amazing souls anyone could ever imagine.

I can’t really bring myself to say anything more about you. But mind you, I love you and I always will; there is no doubt about it.

SWH2

As long as you're here, I'll be okay. I can't live without you. You're what keeps me grounded. Please don't leave me, please don't go. I need you more than you can even begin to imagine.

Until we meet again

Silence will separate us
Darkness will hold us
Solitude will guide us
Distance will mend us.