I was true, as the sky is blue
But I couldn't soon, say the same for you
So now I find denial in my eyes
I'm mesmerised by the picture that's in my mind


So tell me when I'll finally see your shallow heart
For what it is
Because I don't want to keep on believing in illusions


Because I've seen your act
And I know all the facts
I'm still in love with who I wish you were


And it ain't hard to see
Who you are understand
I'm still in love with who I wish you were


I wish you were here.

OUR DEEPEST FEAR.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Living

with the undying thought of failing and not pulling through, I find myself in the utmost negative state of mind, hindering my ability to persevere through all this bullshit. I know that it isn't as bad in reality and mind you, I am probably blowing my own predicaments out of proportion. But having to dread every day that passes by, in search of that silver lining for some sort of salvation just seems to be more than I can handle at the present time being. I never thought that I'd be one to long for the past because I've always been keen on constructing my own path and life, but I constantly find myself wavering in nostalgia. I miss the ongoing support from my peers and teachers, and mainly, I miss the learning environment.
University life is great, don't get me wrong. The main problem I have is the transition from high school to university as it has been quite dramatic for me. And even though it's half way through the semester, I still find that I haven't completely settled in. But given a little more time, I think I'll find the remedy for my malady.

STRIKING OUT.

I'm actually starting to freak out because I feel that no matter how hard I study or how many hours I invest into studying, none of the material revised is retained. With the mounds of assessments I have yet to sit and endure, it just feels as though the hours just aren't paying off. I guess what they say about missing high school is true after you've graduated. University life just isn't the same.

Now what?

One can't help but wonder, because that's what the mind likes to do. It takes us on adventures; ones we would love to have and even ones we would have never even dreamed of (the tormented ones our minds construct for itself). I wonder, I think and I contemplate, how it is and what we did over these many years to make it work. And we did - we made it work. But now that I'm here, what I thought was going to be the unity of everything we have ever dreamed of, reality begs to differ. I'm being engulfed by all these dreams I have at night and I'm drowning in my own fears. "No matter what, we'll make it work." Our entire lives (together) has been based on that one single concept. It let us thrive in times when things felt as though they were crumbling and it enabled us chase after our goal. And with that, we've tackled down and obliterated all barriers that stood in our way. But here we are today, living two separate worlds, two distinct entities. I'm here and you're there and now I'm wondering, "How will we make it work?"