nutshell

I miss you more than ever
The days grow near which mark one year since you've passed. Thinking back, nearly a year ago we had something special, something everlasting.
I spend a lot of my days thinking about you, wishing how things could have been different if you were still with us. What could have been if we had just found you sooner? What if we could have saved you? I know time has passed, and I don't really know how everyone else is coping. But I'm here, not doing so well, and I don't know what to do.
You are slipping away though, and sometimes I can't even picture you. I'm always trying my best to keep you in my thoughts, but it really does get the best of me. It makes me lose motivation in everything I do. Losing you wasn't part of the plan, I wished it had never happened. It's simply not the same without you.

i dream about you more often than not now. it makes me happy. it's just like how it always was. i never want to wake up again.

i wish i did more

If you crash your car into your best friends house

Would you be quiet as words came out of their mouths?

Stop, don't do it, I have been waiting for it

Stop, I knew it would come

If you find a god next to your girlfriend's bed

Would it be hard to sort out your spinning head?

Stop, don't say that, dear, that you wanted him here

Stop, don't give him a clear

Take a picture of them

Take a picture of them

If you are afraid don't be, I have the whole thing planned

We'll start in the ocean, baby, and when we find the land

We will be thankful to all of our friends

That they didn't leave us as we got to the end

Take a picture of them

Take a picture of them

Take a picture of them

Take a picture of them

If you find your faith in your parents' god

Don't be so quick to point out the flaws in it

You've been around and you've seen the way that things work

But you need a compass to get around your house

even if you're gone

i know you truly loved me. i felt it, you showed it, you were never afraid. what you did was what you thought was best for you. i'm never going to hold that against you.
i do miss you, i miss you every day. there isn't a single thing in this world that could ever take away the memories. i just have to fight hard to hold onto them. you have really become an important aspect of my life. my love for you will always persist, even through the darkest of days, even when i feel that i'm forgetting you a little bit, even if i can't remember your face. as long as i remember the feelings, i promise you, everything will come rushing back to me, just as though you were still here. don't ever doubt it, i truly loved you too.

I'm more exhausted than I think I am