CONFESSION1

I can't stop thinking about you.

Whispers of a ghost.

I've told myself countless times to move on and be happy. How can that be so when you were the roots of my happiness? I know it sounds stupid to still be crying over this when we parted a little over seven months ago. But I can't help it, I can't help myself. Tears that fall for you, desperation that can only be cured by you, pain that is caused by you are the only things that allow me to still feel you.
How fucked up is this.

Deja vu.

I'm fighting so hard to hold onto every glimpse of you. I'm afraid of letting myself forget you and replace you. You were truly and undeniably all that kept me together. I don't know what I have left to maintain clarity in life anymore. I feel more lost than usual lately and I'm finding myself chase any fabrication reality proposed that is in anyway, remotely related to you.
I don't want to let myself allow to be put through this mental torture again. But I can't fight it. I am so desperate to feel anything that reminds me of you.

Take me higher.

You have got to stop torturing yourself. You know you deserve better than this so why can't you just do yourself this one little favour and let it all go? It's time to move on to a better time and a better place. It's the least you can do for yourself after all that you have been through. I know you need guidance, but guidance will come along. You just need to take the first few steps towards it.

Thirty-two weeks ago I was happy.